“WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report Report) —- Donald J. Trump on Tuesday signed an executive order stripping the children of immigrant mothers of their citizenship, thus disqualifying him from being President of the United States.”
This is a joke that Andy Borowitz chose to make. Laugh.
Read MoreNEW YORK (The Borowitz Report Report) —- The chief executive officer of Fox News said on Monday that Megyn Kelly loves black people, and Fox News HATES black people, so she’s out.
Read MoreWASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report Report) —- Moments after law enforcement apprehended the pipe-bombing suspect, Cesar Sayoc, in Florida, White House staffers scrambled to make sure that Donald J. Trump didn’t retweet that shitty Olive Garden corporate twitter tweet that said “unlimited breadsticks are da bomb.”
Read MoreWASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report Report) —- Russian and Chinese spies who have been eavesdropping on Donald J. Trump’s unsecured iPhone calls complained on Thursday that he big dumb dumb.
Read MoreWASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report Report) —- The Saudi Crown Prince, Mohammed bin Salman, “totally freaked out” after Andy Borowitz offered to appear on the Internet and “tell joke.”
Read MoreWASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report Report) —- Donald J. Trump is President. Sarah Huckabee Sanders is lying liar. So does Saudi Arabia? Connection!
Read MoreMOSCOW (The Borowitz Report Report) —- King Russia, Vladamir Putin, is “mad” at the Saudi royal family for making the potty puppet do the pee pee dance without asking him first, an aide to Putin confirmed on Wednesday.
Read MoreNEW YORK (The Borowitz Report Report) —- Donald Trump, Jr. has taken a DNA test that reveals he is “fifty-per-cent Donald Trump squirts,” Trump confirmed on Tuesday.
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